You’ve Been to Hell and Back. Welcome Back!

My good  friend Pattie wrote me this today. What a great phrase. She is my biggest fan, but maybe she should be a writer, too.

Yes, it is true. I have been to hell and back…hate to admit that, but it’s true. And who hasn’t in one way or another.

It is good to be back, though. And if hell comes again, I know that I can “unlike” it or “unfriend” it, like I do on in modern times facebook. Or simply be fully with it, and experience it like I have in the past. This juicy stuff of life never ends!

Sticky, and juicy.

Christmas 2011

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Goodbyes

Those last moments together become suspended and frozen in time when we say goodbye. Big, hot sensations and a choking lump overwhelming the throat . The mysteriousness of life saturates the space as we look past the eyes to the souls behind them. Lots of questions flash through the mind about our destiny, chance and fate.

What will the next days, weeks and months hold for us on our separate, but connected journey?

When I see you again who will I be? Will life harden or soften me in the time in between?

And then there is that unsettling emptiness after the departure. A little numb, a little sad; the one left behind returns to the duties of the day while thinking about the talks, the experiences, and the exchanges. The last minute phone calls at the airport seem like a desparate attempt to reassure the connection through space and distance.

Lots of space. Lots of silence. Longing and love, love and longing go together in that Sanskrit chant, “Radhe govinda, govinda radhe.”

That is the WAY of it.

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Yoga – Radiant Body, Reverent Breath

What I’d really like to share with you about the yoga practice…

Now for sale my new yoga book for all levels

• Yoga offers you a deeper appreciation of your body –your temple this time around.
• Yoga helps you age gracefully and with dignity.
• Yoga offers us the awareness of who we are – and who we are not.
• Yoga offers us a means to be kinder and more compassionate with ourselves.
• Yoga is more than just touching your toes.
• Yoga is more than fitness. It includes something for all levels of our being: lungs, organs, glands, emotions, mind, spirit, muscles.
• Yoga has the power to bring you into the present moment and accept yourself as you are.
• Yoga is a great way to feel connected in your community.
• Yoga classes are a way of encountering like-minded individuals.
• The breath is more important than the postures.
• Yoga is a friend for life.
• Yoga is the best preventative medicine and it costs nothing!
• Yoga is like a self-therapy and self-massage.
• Yoga is a gift passed on through the ages and never gets old.
• Every time you do a pose or take a breath you do it in a fresh new moment.
• Practicing with friends or loved ones increases understanding, intimacy, and belongingness.
• You can practice yoga on your own by listening to your own innate intelligence –
  that same intelligence that is there to heal your cuts and wounds.
• Yoga transcends race, culture, religion, class, and age.
• You can practice yoga when you are feeling well or not so well.
• Yoga just feels so complete.
• http://www.YogaAtYourWall.com

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Co-existence of Opposites: Blaaah, coooo, blaaah, coooo…

There is a line in an ancient yogic Sanskrit text that goes something like this:

“How is it POSSIBLE that we have forgotten our connectedness, and are pretending to be separate?”

How is it possible? Well, it just is.

And I am sure that even after experiencing a day of unity and camaraderie like yesterday, Obama Day, we may still experience some separateness and isolation today. It is not wrong, it is not bad — it is simply the way it FEELS sometimes on this planet of duality. We have become accustomed to our way of seeing reality and believing the illusion of surface appearances. Part of life’s variety of experience.

Last week , several times actually, I was woken up by the sound of my neighbor vomiting.

Blaaah! Silence. Blaaaaaaah! Silence.

Sound travels freely and easily here in silence of the jungle, and between thatched roof cabins. I lay awake staring at wood beams that are part of my roof. Then, after a minute, in the quiet space between his retching, emerged another completely opposite sound: Coooooo. Soft and comforting. Cooooo…

The sounds began to alternate rhythmically like a call and response chant in a passing parade: Blaaaah! Silence. Coooo. Silence. Blaaaah. Silence. Cooooo. Silence…

The sounds were impeccably timed and so unusual in their seemingly opposite qualities, that the experience took on a surreal quality for me. I recalled music I had heard on a contrived nature sounds CD I bought years ago at a CVS drugstore.

After a while, the vomiting stopped, and so did the song of the bird. Silence again.

Being the pensive type individual I am, and always searching for meaning in the raw, strange, and sweet moments of life, I felt the co-existence of opposites here on my planet.

The sun is coming up. And night would surely fall.

There is some security in that. It is something we can rely on.

Befriend the Opposites

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I’m not drunk, but I just missed my mouth

Well, add another illness to the growing list of tropical diseases I’ve experienced here in the developing world: typhoid fever. Or at least that is what the blood test results vaguely showed. I still have my doubts. Explaining why would be too long of a story for this blog.

Since before Thanksgiving I felt dizzy, lightheaded, weak, unstable on my feet, and tired in a way that was unfamiliar to my body. In Spanish I would describe this feeling to my doctor as “borracha,”  drunk. I described it to my mother as “how you feel after having a high fever for several days.” She couldn’t relate. Drunk seems to get the point across more quickly.

I was at a Christmas party and I noticed that I kept missing my mouth when I sipped my wine. Interesting. Luckily, my summer dress was pink and burgundy.

I noticed I had to lean on the kitchen counter in the mornings while making coffee, as if I were on a fishing boat excursion for too long.

I didn’t drink anything last night on New Year’s eve; I didn’t have to. At least I didn’t spend any money!

Is this the last wall I will hit before my book Yoga at Your Wall is finally in print?

Stay tuned for more from “Typhoid Stefi…”

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Yoga at Your Wall

Okay, okay. I will start a blog even if I don’t think anyone will read it.
That comment oozes doubt and low self-worth – those lovely codependent mental tendencies!

The book is finished and will be in print by February 2009.

The web site is http://www.YogaAtYourWall.com

I look forward to sharing this book. I hit all my emotional, spiritual and physical walls while I wrote this book.

I keep hitting them. You are not alone. You will read more about the walls I encountered and encounter on this blog. How could I write otherwise?

Read my blog life lessons from my 9 cats:

Brave adventures from Bat Kitty
Retreating from society from Reina
Paying attention to everyone from Pijamas
Jumping through windows from Junio
Clever entrances and exits from Cow Face Kitty (a.k.a. Gomukha in Sanskrit)
Seven Wonders from Seven (a.k.a. SIETE en Spanish)
Frolic time from Franki
Stealth from Sylvester
Cry when you need to from Little Cry Baby (a.k.a. Chilloncita in Spanish)

Editors, please write me at stefanipappas@hotmail.com if you would like a review copy.

Find me at Stephanie Pappas on Facebook.

Franki Yogi

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